Shawn Tomkin p.139 of the book: "Years ago, an Ironlander child was taken by a broken tribe. Now they are seen living among them" (I don't understand who is "they", should it be "he is"?)
Evandro Novel , that's a singular "they" referring to the child. The initial description didn't give the kidnapped child a gender, so "they" for the child makes sense.
Thanks for the catch Thredith Undomiel! I had a few folks letting me know about that one. The downside of frantically updating the assets at the last minute.
I have updated the asset sheet with that fix plus a few others.
Shawn Tomkin I greatly enjoyed reading the revised Chapter 7! I will likely comment more in the next days. In case there is anything useful, here are some sentences that seem strange to me...
p.205 The mail shirt is heavier than you remember, as if as if weighed down by dark memories.
p.217 If so, it’s might be worthy of a vow.
p.223 the relationships your form
p.229 Don’t less this control keep you from missing out on dramatic opportunities.
p.229 When in doubt, error on the side of the dramatic,
p.240 Are you playing a cyborh in a future dystopia?
Shawn Tomkin p.139 of the book: "Years ago, an Ironlander child was taken by a broken tribe. Now
ReplyDeletethey are seen living among them" (I don't understand who is "they", should it be "he is"?)
Evandro Novel , that's a singular "they" referring to the child. The initial description didn't give the kidnapped child a gender, so "they" for the child makes sense.
ReplyDeleteKassidy Helfant Thanks!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the catch Thredith Undomiel! I had a few folks letting me know about that one. The downside of frantically updating the assets at the last minute.
ReplyDeleteI have updated the asset sheet with that fix plus a few others.
Shawn Tomkin Thanks!
ReplyDeleteShawn Tomkin I greatly enjoyed reading the revised Chapter 7! I will likely comment more in the next days.
ReplyDeleteIn case there is anything useful, here are some sentences that seem strange to me...
p.205 The mail shirt is heavier than you remember, as if as if weighed down by dark memories.
p.217 If so, it’s might be worthy of a vow.
p.223 the relationships your form
p.229 Don’t less this control keep you from missing out on dramatic opportunities.
p.229 When in doubt, error on the side of the dramatic,
p.240 Are you playing a cyborh in a future dystopia?
Strange, indeed, Evandro Novel. Thanks for the catches!
ReplyDelete