So I gave it a whirl!
So I gave it a whirl! I really enjoyed it, and though a short tale, it took me forever to get it wrote up! I respect the write ups even more now that others are doing. I am still waffling on the format I chose, so let me know what you think. Not sure interspersing the mechanics is the best choice for it. Feedback would be appreciated.
https://worldofukarea.wordpress.com/2017/12/16/an-early-morning-hunt/
https://worldofukarea.wordpress.com/2017/12/16/an-early-morning-hunt/
I really enjoyed the read, the screenplay format was neat and worked really well for this! I may have to give that a shot myself, maybe help me get away from the writer's block I've been suffering from.
ReplyDeleteI saw your thoughts on the Scrapper and whether it should be Troublesome (as is your journey) or more. In my opinion you made a good call in rating the enemy the way the fiction portrays them. After all, if you're on a routine trip to town and a dragon lands in the road it's not like the dragon would be less dangerous because you're on a routine trip!
Overall I really enjoyed reading your thoughts as you decided what moves to make and what your oracles mean, I hope you continue to do that and may put a bit more emphasis on that in my own writing as well.
I'm excited to read more and find out if Nikkel survives her dangerous detour!
Nice work, John! I agree that the screenplay format is good. Given that choice, have you considered putting the mechanics in a sidebar to help the flow of the script?
ReplyDeleteJustin Gordon & Chuck Durfee, thanks for the feedback and the affirmation of the screenplay format. I think I will stick with it, but will be updating how I incorporate the mechanics and OOC stuff.
ReplyDeleteNot quite sure how yet though. A sidebar would be great, but not sure I know how to do it in this blog format. My initial thought was to have the screenplay at the beginning annotated with [1] as an example.
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And below the horizontal line at the bottom have:
[1] Not sure if that would work as a reference though.
Fun read, John Risus! You played with a couple of formats and I thought it all worked fine in terms of isolating the mechanics from the narrative. Experiment and use whatever keeps things moving best for you. My approach is haphazard bullet points, usually, but I am considering buying some cool journals and writing notes in character.
ReplyDeleteAs for quests, I would probably argue for getting a vow in place when it makes sense. It'll help drive the story for you. I typically suggest that players start with one long-term background vow (which was made "off-screen"), and one vow that relates to something that happened recently or an imminent danger.
That said, it's great to just head out as your character doing the stuff they would normally do, such as a morning hunt. The oracles and moves may very well generate something that introduces an idea for a quest.
Justin Gordon & Shawn Tomkin & Chuck Durfee said it better than I ever could. Gripping story, well presented, I am digging the format. Hoping for more soon
ReplyDeleteThat was great! I’m really glad you decided to run with the Horizon Zero Dawn idea, and the screen play format really seems to give the opportunity to put in those details that make it feel like that world. And what’s this about not being a writer? Good description, good action, and really nice use of what the oracles were giving you to choreograph that action; seemed like good writing to me. Starting is definately always the hardest, but hopefully now that you’ve got it rolling it’ll keep on going for you. And yeah, the oracles can definately be spooky good/apropos; I’m thinking Shawn Tomkin must have rolled a strong hit on a fully upgraded Wright Asset in real life when he penned the oracles :). Really enjoying the story and seeing how you’re translating the mechanics/oracles into the narrative John Risus. Looking forward to the next instalment!
ReplyDeleteOh, and in terms of time of write up/play, don’t worry, it gets easier as you get more practice. First game I played to any kind of finish took two months to play, then about eight months on and off to transcribe from handwritten notes (though admittedly, a lot of that was procrastination); the Ironsworn play reports took a couple days each.
Thank you all very much. I'll admit I was rather nervous sharing it. Being my own worst critic and all. I'm not happy with the format and hopefully readers will stay with me until I can hash out what works style and speed of writing wise.
ReplyDeleteShawn Tomkin I'm going to take another look at your example, maybe I can glean some inspiration there on how best to format. As for a quest/vow, I have one in mind and alluded to it with her short conversation with Meddle. I just haven't committed to it, thinking the dice and the oracle might lead me in other directions. As I mentioned in a response on the Lone Wolf Roleplaying group, I discovered that the Moves really have a way of telegraphing what comes next, with a little thought, so it supplements the oracle fascinatingly.
Bernhard Lutz Thanks, I too am hoping for more soon, and that I findd an easier format to write in, at least capturing the mechanics since I want to stay with a screenplay layout.
Zack MacDonald The screenplay layout does seem to help capture the feel of the HZD setting. I hope it does as well with people not familiar with it too. The oracles seem to be ... I don't know ... to tell you what you already know, like bringing the subconscious to the foreground. If that makes sense? I had a scene with Nikkel set in my head stalking a boar, but the oracle said, "This is Horizon Zero Dawn! Boars are boring! Bring out the Machines!"
John Risus to be clear, I like your format choice.
ReplyDeleteChuck Durfee I get that. No worries.
ReplyDelete